As every woman can attest to, once it gets close to THAT time, you have the tendency to feel incredibly bloated. This bloatedness - no idea if that's a word or not, but I'm using it - led to me wanting to wear some looser clothes to work yesterday. I was running very tight to my morning schedule seeing as I still haven't quite got back in the habit of getting up early to get ready to go into the office, especially when that means getting up at 5:30AM some days and decided that I wanted to be as comfortable as I could be in dress clothes. (I didn't buy jeans at work this month because I didn't know I was going to be in the office, so I still have to wear "business casual attire"... until next Wednesday.) I grabbed a spaghetti strap shirt and put a little no sleeve sweater over top of it and put on some black dress pants that have some cream and light pink pin striping on it with black dress shoes that have about a 1.5" heel on them to where my feet wouldn't hurt. The last time I had these pants on was about 2 weeks ago when I went through all my clothes to see what I could start wearing to the office and they were slightly loose at that time. I had kept them just for these bloated days so they would fit the way they needed to. I think I need to reiterate the fact that I was running out of time to be out of the house yesterday morning.
I thought everything was fine. In fact, I thought I had on a really cute outfit, especially for feeling like crap. But that was not the case... far from it.
My "OH NO!" moment came at my first restroom break yesterday morning. (Yea, I know... second blog with inspiration in the ladies room.) I did my business and came around the corner, washed my hands, turned around and got some paper towels out of the motion sensored dispensers, and faced the very large, floor length mirror as I was drying my hands. And then it hit me...
The "OH NO!" moment.
The spaghetti strap shirt I put on fit me well when I was heavier but I never noticed how much it actually hung away from my body now. The top of the shirt looked fine with the little sweater top over it but the bottom of the shirt looked like it had been stretched all to hell and back. But the pants.... they were the worst. They used to sit on my waist - yes, this means just under my belly button - so that it would make my "woman pouch" look smaller. But not anymore. Now they sat, very loosely I might add, on my hips. Since they were sitting that much lower they were now dragging the ground. I looked down and the bottom of one of the pant legs was completely under my shoe. Pulling the pants back up did nothing to help... they just fell back down. Another "side effect" of the pants sitting lower was how the pants portrayed my butt. Not only did the rear pockets sit lower and make it look like I was one of those guys with their pants below their underwear, but it allowed a massive bunching of loose fabric under my butt. These pants looked absolutely horrible. I actually cringed while looking at myself in the mirror, but at this point, there was nothing at all that I could do about it. I had seriously contemplated heading over to the Goodwill right by work and grabbing some pants and a shirt that actually fit so I wouldn't look like this for the rest of the day. But I wouldn't have been able to make it there, find the clothes, try them on, buy them, and get back to work in 15 minutes - break time - especially with the likelihood of minimized available parking spaces when I would get back. So I had to resign to the fact that I would look like a hobo for the rest of the day.
While walking back to my desk, I started thinking about the dress code and wondering if I was in violation of anything which would cause my new manager to have to send me home to change. After a good mental run down of the company dress code in my head, I determined that I hadn't violated any company rules... just my own rules.
But as many of you know, when I start thinking about something, my mind normally makes some common denominator between what I'm thinking about and some random topic and eventually, my mind ends up somewhere not anywhere close to where it was to start with. Thinking about my own rules led to me thinking about other people's "rules" on how they dress and I remembered a comment made by a fellow co-worker (some of you will know who I am talking about when you read this) who commented one day on some women showing up to work resembling hookers.
I have to admit, I have seen plenty of "hooker look-a-likes" where I work. It's not fashionable... it's not cute... it's not flattering either. It makes me wonder what these women are or are not thinking about when they get dressed in the morning. Do they stand at their closet and say to themselves "Ooh, this makes my boobs pop out a lot" or "Oh, this shows my butt cheeks when I stand up straight, wonder what it shows when I bend over". Do they not understand that they look like they either look like they're asking for it? Do they really think that looks good? I wonder what goes through these womens' heads when they are out at night in a dark parking lot or something... do they get nervous or uneasy knowing they look like that?
The funniest fashion disaster I've seen at work though had to be a girl that always wears stiletto heels. A while back, this girl broke her foot or her ankle or something in that general area and had a cast on her foot with the boot that you can walk on. Alongside that cast on the other foot was STILL a stiletto shoe. So when she walked, you could see her head come up above the cubicle walls then go behind it... then up again and down again... and up again and down again. I guess her fashion statement with that shoe was more important than preserving the well being of the one good foot she had left!
Ultimately, I know people make mistakes and sometimes look just plain goofy. Obviously I've done that. But there's just no excuses for some people and what they perceive to be something that "looks nice".
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