Slut

WARNING: This blog is not appropriate for everyone to read. If you are reading this and get offended, I apologize beforehand. But if you do get offended, please just stop reading… because it’s likely to get worse as I continue.

DISCLAIMER: I will not put names in this blog. I’m sure plenty of people will know who I’m talking about anyway.

Slut.

What does that word mean? It probably means different things for different people, but here’s my definition:

Slut (N.) s-LUT – A woman who looks for sex anywhere she can get it and with anyone she can get it from, regardless of the other person’s involvement with someone else or their marital status. A slut has multiple partners in a short amount of time. A slut also continues such behavior even after many reasons to stop such as children being born or contracting an STD or confrontations. There are many different kinds of sluts:

-          Normal sluts: Women that are sluts… all the time regardless of the situation.

-           Work sluts: Women that are sluts only in an office setting.

-          Home wrecking sluts: Sluts that interfere with a relationship or marriage because – referencing the above definition – they have no regard to the other person’s relationship or marital status.

-          Hooker slut: A slut that dresses and acts like a hooker, but without the payment.

I’m sure I could come up with more types if I wanted to, but the story that inspired this blog involves a nearly 30 year old woman that is a combination of the above four types.

Before I get into the story, I want to describe this woman and her past activities because then, I think you’ll understand the humor in the story.

First, is her attire. If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ll know of one that was about women dressing like they’re “asking for it”. Well, this woman definitely dresses like she’s “asking for it”. She’s constantly trying to push her boobs out of her shirt, wear clothes that look like they’re painted on so you know there’s no way in hell that they fit, and wears stiletto heels EVEN when she had broken one of her feet and had a brace on it.  As for her hair, it’s always something flashy and very rarely conservative. I’ve seen it done just like how Beyonce did in Austin Powers Goldfinger. I’ve seen it in a Mohawk style but much thicker and flattened out on the top. If that’s any indication of how she’s looked, I will leave your imagination to envision her other “styles”. If she would just be CLASSY, she would be beautiful.

Second is her attitude. She walks around like she is a gift to this world with her nose stuck up in the air. Any person that gets close to her finds all of their personal information from private conversations spread all over. Where we work is almost equivalent to a high school anyway, so drama there spreads like wildfire anyway. She has no reservations about who she’ll go after… her most recent “victim” was engaged and ended up getting beat up because she doesn’t know how to keep her hands off. (NOTE: I am NOT in any way saying that the guy shouldn’t have any blame, because he should. Any guy that was previously involved and then gets involved with her at the same time, even if it’s only for one night, should have told her NO as many times as it took for her to get the hint – as hard as that may be for her. That being said, she has mastered the art of manipulation. She will go about it any way that she can to get what she wants, whether that be by playing with the guy’s emotions, flirting, or flat out stripping down in front of him. She has NO boundaries.)

Third is her standards. This one is simple. She has none. As long as it has a penis, she will pursue it.

Fourth is her hygiene. She makes sure she wears makeup and tries to make herself smell appealing. But with all of the men that she has successfully persuaded into her bedroom, I would seriously doubt her condom usage. I would seriously worry about the possibility of catching something that can’t be scrubbed off with Ajax. (NOTE: I do NOT know if she has an STD. All I’m saying is the probability is very high.)

And fifth is her mental status. This combined with the fact that she’s a multi-category slut makes an incredibly insane, disturbed slut. As the majority of this woman’s victims can attest to, when she finds someone that she wants to be involved with and manages to get them in bed, her favorite way to get him to stay with her is to fake a pregnancy… which she has done many times. From what I’ve heard, she’s even left work once for vacation being “pregnant” and came back a week or two later telling people she had flown to Hawaii and went into labor, had the baby, and then had to leave it in Hawaii. Not sure if she expected people to believe that or not, but hey, that’s a testament to her mental health.

So now to the story that prompted this blog…

A friend of mine texted me yesterday with pictures she wanted me to show someone she used to work with. She was at Kings Island and wanted to keep teasing this person about how he was stuck in the office and she was out having fun. So while I was over that way yesterday, I stopped by his desk to show him the pictures. I had been there for a few minutes and this woman walked over. I saw her when she got there but didn’t say anything and just kept talking. (I have been around this woman enough to know when she really needs something… and she didn’t need anything.) When he finally noticed she was there, she started twirling her headset cord around her finger since her hair was up and stuck her hip out. Here was the following conversation (this may not be word for word, but I’m doing my best):

Him: Yes ma’am?

Her: Oh, I didn’t really NEED anything…

Him: Ok then. (He turned back around.)

Her: Have you gotten your ice cream yet?

Him: No, I sure haven’t.

Me: He’s not going to get any ice cream… he’s trying to watch his girly figure.

Him: Oh here she goes with the jokes…

Her: You should get some ice cream.

Him: Have you gotten yours yet?

Her: Yep. But I was wondering if you would get yours and then give it to me?

Him: Yea, I’m not going to get any…

Her: Ok…

He turned back around at that point. She stood there another minute or so before she actually left.

Now is it just me, or does anyone else that’s reading this see that she was rejected? How did she miss it? Does she not know that she looked absolutely pathetic to keep trying??

This is where the home wrecker part comes in. This is the FOURTH committed man that she's gone after that I know of in the last three years or so. Heaven only knows how many more there were. (And that doesn't even come close to counting the single guys she's gone after... that I know of...)

She needs to quit worrying about where her next lay is going to come from and take care of her kids! I just hope to hell she's not taking all these different guys home while her kids are there. But seriously... this woman is almost 30 years old.... with two real kids - not the imaginary ones. Wouldn't you think it would be time to grow up and be a mother?!

#EndRant