Kids

Ever since I was little, I have wanted to adopt children. I've always just figured that there are plenty of kids out there that need loving, caring, supportive homes and they deserve the best life possible just as much as any other child. It shouldn't matter why they're in foster care or being placed for adoption... I'm sure their parents had their reasons. But these children need people who will love them unconditionally and feed them, clothe them, provide a home, educate them.. etc. and I've always felt that as long as that's something I know I can commit to and stick with it, then it's something that I would like to offer to a child.


For those of you that don't know, the boys that I'm raising with Brian aren't biologically mine - they're from his previous marriage. I guess having step-children is as close to adopting as I can get without actually doing it.


When Brian and I got serious and I started being around the boys and getting to know them, Timothy was 5 years old - turning 6 in about 3 months or so - and Thomas was 3 years old. I've been there for a lot with them... Thomas's preschool graduation and first day of kindergarten and graduation. Timothy's kindergarten graduation, first crush (and every one since -_-), and his eye surgery. I was here when both of them lost their first tooth. I've been there for almost every doctor's appointment, school function, sports function, and art class. And even before Brian and I were married, I supported them and the household financially. I've tried to do everything for them that a mother SHOULD do.

But then sometimes, I sit back and think of all the things I missed out on. I missed their first breath - obviously. Their first giggle / laugh. The first time they crawled. I missed when they first sat up on their own and when they learned how to pull themselves up off of the floor. I missed their first word, their first bottle, their first bite of solid food. I missed the first time they went in the big boy potty. I missed their first steps and Timothy's first day of school. There are so many things that I missed as they were little and I can't just rewind to watch it.


Brian and I had talked about the possibility of having a child together around this time last year and decided to just stop taking any precautions and if it happens, then it happens. If not, then it just won’t happen. But like I said, this was almost a year ago and nothing has happened yet. So again, if it happens, then it happens. If it doesn’t then it doesn’t. If it doesn’t happen within the next couple of years, then I’m hoping adoption will become a serious topic with him and me. I would love to be able to do all of the little things that come along with a baby and if adoption is our only option, then so be it.

It seriously kills me though when certain women – we all know one or two or more of them – that just shouldn’t have any more kids, but they keep popping them out even though they know they can’t take care of them. Then these kids have a less than ideal life and their needs get shoved to the side. I honestly can’t stand women that do that to their kids. I would LOVE to have one of my own, but it doesn’t look like that is going to happen any time soon so I absolutely hate when women push their kids to the side and don’t put their needs first. If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ll know that my biological mother turned out that way and I’ll be damned if the boys I’m raising will know me to be like that.