Ok… another Facebook status got me going. (I’m thinking I
should minimize my usage of that social networking site…) Anyway, this woman
isn’t someone I would have called a “friend”… more of an acquaintance. We went
to high school together and her son wrestled with Thomas at one point, so when
I got her request, I didn’t think anything of it when I accepted.
Fast forward 2(ish) years and I’ve seen her divorce posted
on there, getting together with someone else, back with the ex-husband, and
together again with the other guy. A couple months ago, she ended up pregnant
and the “other guy” is the father. Two days ago, I saw a status talking about
how her doctor’s appointment didn’t go so well. Of course, being the nosey
person I am, I looked at the comments. In those comments, she talked about how
the baby’s stomach was measuring smaller than it should be because she hasn’t
been hungry, the doctor wants her to stop smoking, and they want her to be off
work for two weeks. Various other people were commenting telling her how she
needs to eat regardless of if she’s hungry or not and how she definitely needs
to stop smoking. And instead of having a reaction of “yea, I need to eat more
so I can take care of my baby”, it was “I know, but I’m not hungry.”
(Before I go into my rant, please understand that I know I
was not perfect with my pregnancy. I’m not great at remembering things, so I
didn’t take my prenatal vitamin every single day. I ate hot dogs every once in
a while. I carried things heavier than I should have and I drove the bucket of
the tractor through the garage at 7 months along.)
Queue the fumes.
First off, lady, you’re PREGNANT. There is another life
INSIDE of you. So, unlike me, your doctor is telling you that you have
endangered your baby… who isn’t even born yet! And your response is “but I wasn’t
hungry”?!?!?! That would be the same thing as you telling your other two kids
that just because you’re not hungry, they’re not going to get their next meal
either. Starving a child is ABUSE. I’m not talking about if they are acting up
and go to bed early without finishing their dinner… If this baby’s stomach is
smaller than it needs to be, then you’ve obviously been doing this for a while.
It’s PROLONGED ABUSE. So, in that sense, maybe you shouldn’t be allowed to keep
this baby. And honestly, if that’s how you are treating that baby before it’s
born, then I have to seriously question how well you take care of your other
boys.
Secondly, I understand smoking is an addiction. That being
said, what the HELL are you THINKING?! Do you not realize how many chemicals
are in cigarettes?! Are you not aware of the possible birth defects associated
with smoking while pregnant?! Here… let me enlighten you.
- Babies born to mothers who smoked had roughly 20% to 30% higher odds of having shortened or missing arms and legs, cleft lips and cleft palates, and abnormally shaped heads or faces compared to babies born to nonsmoking mothers.
- Infants born to smokers had 50% higher odds of being born with their intestines hanging outside the body and a 20% increased risk of being born with a blocked or closed anus.
- Smoking accounted for a 9% increased risk of heart defects and a 13% higher risk that baby boys would be born with undescended testes.
Now… these things
are associated with something that you are CHOOSING to do. Smoking isn’t a
necessity… it’s not oxygen, food, or water… it’s an OPTION. So by choosing not
to quit – or even ATTEMPT to quit – you are choosing a much greater risk of
your baby being born with some kind of abnormality. You’re CHOOSING to
potentially need corrective surgery for this baby, if not immediately when
born, then sometime in his/her life. It’s not like a surgery to put its
intestines back inside is going to be an elective one. So…. You’re OK with
this?!
Third. If your
doctor is telling you that you need to take 2 weeks off of work – that you do
physical labor at – then damnit, there’s a very specific reason and you need to
do it. I totally understand not being able to afford being off work. But, there
are times when you have to prioritize. Even if you’re not super concerned about
the welfare of the baby (reference the two points above if there’s any question
to that…) continuing to work when your doctor says not to is potentially
putting your life at risk also. It’s not like they can fire you if you have
doctor’s orders to be off of work. At that point, your job is protected under
FMLA and it is actually ILLEGAL for them to fire you.
So, by this ONE
status, I have determined that you, ma’am, are a complete piece of shit.
There’s a saying…
“You are the company that you keep.” And judging from what I got from your ONE
status, I can whole heartedly say that I do not want to be anywhere remotely
associated with you.
Unfriended.
With as much knowledge we have available these days on consequences of choices you make when pregnant, you would think women would be better educated about these things and therefore make better choices. But I'm not completely convinced that it's just lack of knowledge. It's selfishness... plain and simple. These women choose themselves over their kids.
Women who refuse to take care of their children, regardless of if they're born yet or not, in my opinion, should not be allowed to keep their children and some kind of measures need to be taken so they can't have anymore children that will just be put in the system. I'm not talking about women who literally CAN'T take care of their kids... this is women who CHOOSE to abandon their children's needs. It's women who are only fulfill the biological meaning of the word "mother" and not any of the adjective or verb meanings. Please see below for definitions.
moth·er - [muhth
-er]
-er]
noun
1. a female parent.
2. (often initial capital letter) one's female parent.
3. a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother.
4. a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent.
5. a term of familiar address for an old or elderly woman.
adjective
11. being a mother: a mother bird.
12. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a mother: mother love.
13. derived from or as if from one's mother; native: his mother culture.
14. bearing a relation like that of a mother, as in being the origin, source, or protector: the mother company and its affiliates; the mother computer and its network of terminals.
verb (used with object)
15. to be the mother of; give origin or rise to.
16. to acknowledge oneself the author of; assume as one's own.
17. to care for or protect like a mother; act maternally toward.
verb (used without object)
18. to perform the tasks or duties of a female parent; act maternally: a woman with a need to mother.
Bottom line, you cannot be the definition of "mother" while neglecting your children at the same time.
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