In December 2009, right before Christmas, she told Brian
that her and her boyfriend split up and she had to move out, was staying in a
homeless shelter, and was thinking about moving back to Michigan Michigan
By that time, she was bouncing back and forth between
different friends’ houses and homeless shelters. (She had even asked Brian if
she could move back in to our house the next time him and I had an argument!) So
since she didn’t have a stable place to live or to take the kids, one of the
conditions of her visitation became that we would take them to see her at a
public location (the mall, a restaurant, a park, etc.) so she could see them and
then we would take them back home. Of course this was unacceptable for her
because she was their mother and tried to tell us that she could take care of
them. But she refused to see the kids like that so her visitation with the kids
dropped dramatically. It was minimal at best before but it became almost non
existent. She would still come to a sports event every now and then but even
that completely stopped.
Eventually she got a place of her own and wanted the boys to
come and see her there. Brian agreed. So we took the kids to this new place
which she told Brian that she was buying, but was really doing a “rent-to-own”
deal. We didn’t tell the boys that we were taking them to see her so they were
really excited once they figured it out. They came back to the car all excited
because she had her own place and they even had their own bedroom, even though
it was all full of boxes. She stayed there 2-3 months before she couldn’t pay
her rent anymore and was evicted. (I found out much later that this was never a
rent-to-own place… it was a boyfriend’s house who was a truck driver and wasn’t
ever home. He came home and caught her cheating on him with his best friend, so
he kicked her out. He told her to take what she could that day and the rest
went to the trash. Friends of hers came to help her get things out of the house
and took her to someone in Fairborn’s house who just happened to be a drug
dealer, so she offered a joint as payment instead of gas money because her
money just happened to be left in the house.)
Sometime in summer/fall of 2010, she met her second husband.
Brian looked up his record, like he did with any guy that she decided to get
involved with, and found all kinds of things both in Clark
County and Champaign County
From what I understand, he was beating her on a regular
basis and she called someone and asked for that person to help her get out of
the situation. That person complied and her family came down from Michigan
Christmas was the week after the wedding. She kept asking
for the kids to come over to her house and open presents because they had
already been around her husband at the wedding. But again, they weren’t going
to go over there and be alone, so Brian reminded her that she could see them at
a public place. For whatever reason, she didn’t understand that the kids’
safety was more important than what she wanted.
Fast forward a few months to tax time. At this point, she
had only paid one month of support since signing over full custody. Someone had
paid to get her license reinstated so we assume that CSEA found her and sent a letter saying
that she had to start paying again or they would revoke her license again. So
she paid one month - $150.00 – and moved to a trailer that was bought for her
so that CSEA couldn’t find her again. Since her and her husband were married,
they filed a joint tax return. Needless to say, CSEA found her. She had been
ordered by the court to get a job but for whatever reason, she decided that she
didn’t have to. (She’s not disabled or anything like that so she can work.)
Since they couldn’t garnish her wages, they took his tax return. He obviously
didn’t like that, so he beat her up again and put her in the hospital this
time. She called Brian and wanted him to bring the kids to the hospital to see
her. Uh, NO! The last thing the kids needed was to see their mother all beat
up. I’m pretty sure the hospital got the police involved while she was there
because Project Woman ended up putting her up in a hotel. Once she was there,
she called Brian again and asked if the kids could come to the hotel where she
was and go swimming with her (while she supposedly had a broken hip/ leg). But
we felt that this was not the time for the kids to go see her because of all
the crap she was dealing with and she didn’t need to tell the kids all about it
and use it as an excuse as to why she hadn’t seen them. We felt it was more
important to keep them away from the mind games.
Not too long after, she packed up her daughter and her father
(She had taken her dad out of the nursing home he was in and moved him into the
trailer with her and her husband but then left it up to her husband’s family to
take care of him) and moved to Michigan again. Her family got her dad situated
in another nursing home. She called Brian to tell him that she knew her husband
would try to come get her once he was out of jail and wanted Brian’s opinion on
if she should go back with him or not. He told her to make her own decisions.
Then one day, her and her daughter disappeared from up there and reappeared
back in Springfield and back with her husband.
A couple of weeks later, Brian got a random phone call from
the Champaign County Job and Family offices and it was her. She said her husband
was there with a knife and was threatening to kill her. Brian told her to call
911. Neither of us really understands why she didn’t do that in the first
place. He went back to jail; she got a restraining order, and then went back to
Michigan
After he got out, she pulled the same thing with him that she
would do to us every now and then. She called him over and over and over and
over again. She could do that because the order wasn’t against her. But when he
called her to tell her to stop, she called the police and told them that he had
contacted her and violated the restraining order. He was put in jail again but
this time he didn’t get out. He went to court and she testified against him.
She had brought her latest boyfriend to town with her and so before the
hearing, she called Brian and asked if the kids could come visit her at her
hotel room. He told her no, but if she wanted to meet the kids at a public
place then she could. She didn’t like that answer so she hung up on him. But
while she was in town, she called again and asked if they could spend the night
with her and this man in their hotel room. That answer was more of a laugh and
then a “hell no”.
........... To be Continued...
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