R.I.P. Bambi

I am currently sitting at the school during Thomas’s football practice, so I figured this would be a good time to write my deer hunting experience.

When I was leaving the house Wednesday morning around 6:50AM, there was a big white dog in the yard playing with Rico. This dog, Benelli, comes down occasionally when the battery in his collar goes dead and he can get past his invisible fence. So I called his owner, who I should be on a first name basis with, and she told me she would call her husband and see if he could come and get the dog. I told her that I had to go to work, but when he comes over, he typically doesn’t leave if Rico is out. We hung up and I left to take the kids to a friend’s house that was watching them through the summer while I was back in the office. When I drop them off, I have to back track past my house and get to town that way. After I passed the house, I called Brian to tell him that the dog had been picked up and taken back to his house. I have SYNC in my car and Brian could hear the seat belt warning going off because I had forgotten to put it on. He mentioned that I need to put it on, so I told him I would and hung up. I put the seat belt on.

It was incredibly foggy outside and the sun was just coming up but was hidden behind a cloud. I was heading south on Ballentine towards 41 and got almost to where the S curve is when this deer came out of the corn field to my left. It didn’t walk on to the road… it was charging on to the road. If I had been there a second later, it would have hit the right side of my car. If I had been there a second earlier, it would have been in my driver side door. As soon as its feet hit the pavement, it was directly in front of my car. I didn’t have time to hit the brakes. I didn’t have time to swerve even if I wanted to. There was zero time to react in any way. The next thing I knew, the hood of my car was crunched up almost to my windshield and the deer was flying through the air and landed pretty far away from my car. I sat there for a minute to get my bearings and made sure that I was ok but then started smelling a really sweet smell and a really hot (not burning) smell. We had just talked about exploding cars the night before at football practice so I started flipping out thinking the car would explode. I turned the car off, grabbed my purse and everything I take to work with me, got out of the car, and took off running down the road – just in case.

I figured since I was ok, I’d call Brian first to let him know. Whenever he needs to get ahold of me while I’m at work, he calls my desk phone and I obviously wouldn’t be there on time. When he answered, I told him that it was a good thing he told me to put on my seat belt. He answered with “What? Did you wreck?” But he thought I was just messing with him so he wasn’t taking me seriously yet. I told him yes, I had hit a deer. He still didn’t believe me so I told him again. Once he figured out that I was serious, he asked if the car was drivable. I had driven a car with a smashed up end before but I wasn’t too sure that this could be driven, especially with all the antifreeze pooling on the road. I tried to tell him that I could handle it on my own, but he told me he was coming back from Vandalia anyway and he would be there as soon as he could.

I hung up with Brian and dialed 911. I guess I was close enough to Champaign County so my call went into the Urbana 911 center. They told me that since I was in Clark County, they had to route my call to their dispatch. Once I got there, they told me that Ohio State Highway Patrol handles “these kind of incidents” so she routed me over to OSP. OSP finally sent someone out.

The next couple of calls were to my boss. I left messages for her on her cell and her desk phone. I also tried to get a message to my team lead through a few other people since I didn’t have her direct number. About this time, an older man stopped to see if I was ok and he stayed with me until the cop got there which was about 45 minutes after I called 911.

The cop pulled in first with Brian right behind him. As Brian drove by, I could see his face completely drop. I can only imagine the thoughts going through his head. The cop got out and took my license, insurance, and registration forms and took my report. I told him that the deer had been moving around a lot in the ditch so he went over to look at it. Once he got there, he informed me that the deer had “expired” and that I could take it if I wanted. If you know me, you know I’m REALLY picky when it comes to the food that I eat – I don’t eat deer meat. But even if we wanted to take it, we wouldn’t have been able to. I called a few people, but no one was able to get the deer.

It took the cop about 30 minutes to take his report and then told us that we could call a tow truck. Brian called Allstate while waiting on the tow truck and took care of setting up our claim. I had About an hour later, the tow truck got there and told us that we could go ahead and he would take care of getting the car to the shop.

One of the wonderful things about our insurance policy is that it doesn’t cover a rental. Yes, we have three vehicles, but we hadn’t renewed the tags on the truck yet. So we went back to the house to make sure we had everything in order and headed to New Carlisle to get a new sticker. I had figured I would need to go to the shop to do paperwork or something, so I had told the tow truck driver that I didn’t need to get anything out of my car while he was there which in turn prompted a trip all the way to Vandalia to get everything I needed out of my car.

Since it was around 11AM, Brian and I decided to go have lunch together. I don’t think it had set in yet by this point because once I started trying to eat, I couldn’t hold the fork steady enough to get food on it. But when I finally got my food down, Brian and I said out goodbyes and headed our separate ways.

I finally made it in to work at 11:56AM.

Pet Peeves

I was going to write about something else tonight, but another bathroom incident at work pretty much catapulted me into wanting to write about things that completely and utterly get under my skin...



1. People who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom in a public place.

I'll admit... I don't wash my hands much after I go at home. Mostly because there aren't a million people using my bathroom... it's just me and Brian. And the way I see it, I'm going to end up with any germs he has anyway and vice versa. Even the boys don't use our bathroom really. But when I'm in a public place like a restaurant or the ball field or at work, I make sure I wash my hands.

What's awesome about our restrooms at work is everything works by using a sensor. The only thing you have to touch is the stall handle and latch. The sinks and the paper towel dispensers are all automatic. So the whole "I don't want to touch the sinks or towel dispensers" excuse is not a very good one. Even if  you didn't want to touch anything that has had other peoples' nasty unwashed hands on it, then don't even bother going to the bathroom because you still have to touch the stall doors. And to make the "I'm in a hurry" excuse invalid, they also have Purell dispensers on the wall as you're leaving the room. But this person in the restroom couldn't be bothered to utilize the germ killing liquid on the wall either. GROSS.


2. Slow drivers.

I drive fast. Plain and simple. (Unless it's dark outside and then I go the speed limit because I have horrible night vision.) But what really gets me are those people that go 10MPH UNDER the speed limit. Do they not know that you can get a ticket for going too slow?! And it gets me even more when these people want to drive in THE FAST LANE. The second lane is there for a reason. Do I have road rage, you ask? Damn right I do. GET OUT OF THE WAY! And the people that like to get right beside someone driving in the slow lane and then go the same speed irritates the hell out of me. What if the person behind these two morons is having an emergency in the car and they have to get around them to get somewhere? If you're going to go the same freaking speed anyway, then why not either pass them and get in the lane in front of them or slow down and pull in behind them? There's no reason for it. End of story.

My husband happens to be one of these drivers. He doesn't do the whole "drive right beside someone on the highway" thing, but he's one of the "I'm going to go 10MPH slower just because I feel like it" people. It irritates me to no end to ride in the car with him driving just as I'm sure as it irritates him to ride in the car with me driving.


3. Finding a formerly white sock in the washer with a load of colors.

I take a lot of time to make sure the clothes are sorted correctly before putting them in the washer. But somehow, that ONE white sock ALWAYS manages to get in the washer with things that it shouldn't be washed with. I have found a cure for this one though... I now wear colored socks. I have socks with hearts, stripes, and polka dots. Some socks are one color... some of them are many colors. I try to match them with what I wear, but that doesn't always seem to happen. Like today... I have on jeans and a t-shirt that's kind of a tan color with a big heart on it that is a peach and coral color and that spells LOVE on one side of the heart. My socks? They start with a pink stripe at the top, followed by grey, turquoise, grey, yellow, grey, orange, grey, red, grey, then back to pink, grey, blue, grey, and finally yellow again. They don't even come close to matching my shirt, but hey, no one saw my socks today, so it's ok.


4. My menstrual cycle. (If you don't want to hear about it, then skip over it...)

I really do not like it. I know no woman does, but I'm not sure how many womens' bodies change like mine does. First is the cramps. Yes, I know every other woman gets cramps too, but mine are to the point where taking medicine (Mydol included) does not help take the pain away unless I take more than the recommended dosage. The only thing that really helps get rid of my cramps is a heating pad. I had one that plugs into the wall so I could use it at night, but the dog decided the cord was a chew toy not too long ago, so I don't want to use it anymore. Kind of afraid I'll get electrocuted. So now I get the little ones that ThermaCare makes to stick onto the inside of your underwear so I can get at least some relief. ThermaCare took these off the shelves for a while saying they got too hot and were burning people's skin so I bought ones for shoulders and used them the way the menstrual ones are supposed to be used. (I would think that people would have the sense to take them off when they were getting too hot, but it was probably just someone looking for a high payout lawsuit - you don't need common sense for those.) But when it's 90+ degrees outside, it makes it incredibly hard to put one of those on. (It is kinda nice in the winter though - just the heat from the heating pad, not the cramps...) I get seriously bloated. As in last month, I gained 3lbs just at that time. The "girls" hurt like crazy. They hurt with a normal bra, they hurt without a bra, they hurt if I lay on my side to sleep. The only way I can get them to NOT hurt is if I lay completely flat on my back or if I wear an incredibly tight sports bra so it holds them in place to where they can't move... at all. And my mood is horrible... as I'm sure my husband, parents, siblings, and certain friends can attest to if asked... the slightest thing will set me off. This is normally the time where I find myself hiding out in my bedroom so I won't go off on anyone.


5. High payout lawsuits.

Since I talked about them in #4, I need to elaborate for a minute. Whoever the judge was in the case that ruled in favor of the person who sued McDonalds because their coffee was too hot and burned them when it was spilled needs a freaking reality check. If the coffee was any colder, they would have more than likely sued anyway saying they got frostbite in their mouth. Same goes for the judge who ruled in favor of the person who sued Winnebago because they thought if they put their RV on cruise control, they could get up and go fix something in the little kitchenette. There's NO WAY this person thought the RV could drive itself! If you don't have even that much common sense, then that person has no business driving anyway! This person most likely spent a few years reading the owners manual for his RV over and over and over and over again to come up with something that wasn't included in the manual so he could sue and get a boat load of cash.


6. People on welfare that have nicer things than people with jobs.

I've touched on this before I believe, but I can't stand when I go somewhere and someone is paying for their groceries with food stamps but has a Gucci or Chanel purse. It makes no sense to me at all. Now, I have known people with food stamps that will "sell" them to people that are not on welfare. They basically trade them for cash so they can go and buy things that food stamps can't purchase. But isn't that the whole point of food stamps?! It's federal assistance to help people buy FOOD. If you don't need the food stamps to get food, then you don't need to be on welfare at all! Better yet... GO GET A JOB!


7. Parents that focus on themselves and not their kids.

I have one of these. If you have read my blog called Old Lies, you'll know who it is. So growing up knowing that myself or my siblings were not very high on my biological mother's priority list makes this one a REALLY BIG pet peeve. 

I can't stand when I go to a store and there's a woman that's got her hair done - colored, highlighted, a nice cut, styled with loads of product - nails done, high end name brand clothes... the works... but her kids have shoes with holes, holes in their clothes, dirty skin, and greasy hair. It takes every ounce of restraint I have to keep my mouth shut when I see that. 


8. Parents that have kids, but don't bother with them.

Again, if you have read my "Old Lies" blog, you know where I'm coming from already. Growing up with this as well makes it something I am very "passionate" (as Brian calls it) about, especially since this is something that the boys have been dealing with for most of their lives. 

I can't stand it when parents don't care enough about their kids to be an actual parent. Maybe they don't know what the definition of "parent" is? Well here, let me define it for them:

• Parent (verb) p-air-ent: Someone, regardless of biology, that takes care of a child. This means feeding, clothing, housing, and educating the child. It also includes supporting the child both financially and emotionally, disciplining the child when necessary, guiding the child into making correct choices, making sure they are healthy, and putting the child's needs before your own.

If you aren't doing all of those then, in my opinion, you are not acting like a parent. Notice I made the definition to include the word being a verb. (Most) Anyone can contribute an egg or sperm to physically make a child, but it takes much MUCH more than that to be a parent. And if you are not equipped with the ability to do everything in that definition, then you don't need to call yourself a parent. Too many people out there contribute the body parts to make a child but then either can't or won't act like a parent.

I can kind of understand the "can't" be a parent. (If you CAN'T be a parent, then you need to make sure you're taking precautionary measures to prevent that from happening. But I do understand that condoms break and birth control is not 100% preventative.) But when you CAN'T be a parent, that's where the adoption system comes in. There are plenty of people out there that are more than willing to be a parent to your child. It's when people WON'T be a parent that gets under my skin.

Like I said, the boys are dealing with this still because they have a biological parent that WON'T actually be a parent to them. (Those of you that know me and are close to me know most, if not all, of the details. If you want details, all you have to do is ask. If I start writing on all of the details now, I'll be up all night and into early hours of the morning writing.) It absolutely kills me when they get upset over it because I know where they're coming from. I know how it feels. I know what the hurt and the pain and the anger feels like. And at this point, I refuse to allow them to be hurt any longer. They're KIDS - they deserve a happy life, not a depressed one.


9. Fingernails on a chalkboard.

I HATE to hear that sound. It makes me involuntarily cringe. I don't like it when my body does things that I don't tell it to do.



10. CDs that skip.

Who still has CDs anymore? This girl right here. Yes, I have an mp3 player. But I also love to listen to my CDs from "back in the day". And amazingly, I still know most of the words to most of the songs on them. But when the CD starts to skip - which most of mine have - it's a total mood killer. Not the sexy kind of mood - well, yea, ok, that kind too - but when I listen to my CDs, it's like taking a trip down memory lane. If I didn't like the memories attached to those CDs, then I would have gotten rid of them a LONG time ago. There are stories that go along with most of the CDs that I still have. I have my practice CDs from choir in high school. I have the CD from the levy rally where my choir sang with John Legend. I have a CD that my dad burned for me just out of nowhere. I have some CDs that I can listen to when I'm sad or when I'm in a lovey-dovey mood. But when they start to skip, it totally ruins it.





Well, that's it for this edition of Pet Peeves. I'm sure there will be another installment at some point! Thanks for reading!!

Kids

Ever since I was little, I have wanted to adopt children. I've always just figured that there are plenty of kids out there that need loving, caring, supportive homes and they deserve the best life possible just as much as any other child. It shouldn't matter why they're in foster care or being placed for adoption... I'm sure their parents had their reasons. But these children need people who will love them unconditionally and feed them, clothe them, provide a home, educate them.. etc. and I've always felt that as long as that's something I know I can commit to and stick with it, then it's something that I would like to offer to a child.


For those of you that don't know, the boys that I'm raising with Brian aren't biologically mine - they're from his previous marriage. I guess having step-children is as close to adopting as I can get without actually doing it.


When Brian and I got serious and I started being around the boys and getting to know them, Timothy was 5 years old - turning 6 in about 3 months or so - and Thomas was 3 years old. I've been there for a lot with them... Thomas's preschool graduation and first day of kindergarten and graduation. Timothy's kindergarten graduation, first crush (and every one since -_-), and his eye surgery. I was here when both of them lost their first tooth. I've been there for almost every doctor's appointment, school function, sports function, and art class. And even before Brian and I were married, I supported them and the household financially. I've tried to do everything for them that a mother SHOULD do.

But then sometimes, I sit back and think of all the things I missed out on. I missed their first breath - obviously. Their first giggle / laugh. The first time they crawled. I missed when they first sat up on their own and when they learned how to pull themselves up off of the floor. I missed their first word, their first bottle, their first bite of solid food. I missed the first time they went in the big boy potty. I missed their first steps and Timothy's first day of school. There are so many things that I missed as they were little and I can't just rewind to watch it.


Brian and I had talked about the possibility of having a child together around this time last year and decided to just stop taking any precautions and if it happens, then it happens. If not, then it just won’t happen. But like I said, this was almost a year ago and nothing has happened yet. So again, if it happens, then it happens. If it doesn’t then it doesn’t. If it doesn’t happen within the next couple of years, then I’m hoping adoption will become a serious topic with him and me. I would love to be able to do all of the little things that come along with a baby and if adoption is our only option, then so be it.

It seriously kills me though when certain women – we all know one or two or more of them – that just shouldn’t have any more kids, but they keep popping them out even though they know they can’t take care of them. Then these kids have a less than ideal life and their needs get shoved to the side. I honestly can’t stand women that do that to their kids. I would LOVE to have one of my own, but it doesn’t look like that is going to happen any time soon so I absolutely hate when women push their kids to the side and don’t put their needs first. If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ll know that my biological mother turned out that way and I’ll be damned if the boys I’m raising will know me to be like that.

Slut

WARNING: This blog is not appropriate for everyone to read. If you are reading this and get offended, I apologize beforehand. But if you do get offended, please just stop reading… because it’s likely to get worse as I continue.

DISCLAIMER: I will not put names in this blog. I’m sure plenty of people will know who I’m talking about anyway.

Slut.

What does that word mean? It probably means different things for different people, but here’s my definition:

Slut (N.) s-LUT – A woman who looks for sex anywhere she can get it and with anyone she can get it from, regardless of the other person’s involvement with someone else or their marital status. A slut has multiple partners in a short amount of time. A slut also continues such behavior even after many reasons to stop such as children being born or contracting an STD or confrontations. There are many different kinds of sluts:

-          Normal sluts: Women that are sluts… all the time regardless of the situation.

-           Work sluts: Women that are sluts only in an office setting.

-          Home wrecking sluts: Sluts that interfere with a relationship or marriage because – referencing the above definition – they have no regard to the other person’s relationship or marital status.

-          Hooker slut: A slut that dresses and acts like a hooker, but without the payment.

I’m sure I could come up with more types if I wanted to, but the story that inspired this blog involves a nearly 30 year old woman that is a combination of the above four types.

Before I get into the story, I want to describe this woman and her past activities because then, I think you’ll understand the humor in the story.

First, is her attire. If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ll know of one that was about women dressing like they’re “asking for it”. Well, this woman definitely dresses like she’s “asking for it”. She’s constantly trying to push her boobs out of her shirt, wear clothes that look like they’re painted on so you know there’s no way in hell that they fit, and wears stiletto heels EVEN when she had broken one of her feet and had a brace on it.  As for her hair, it’s always something flashy and very rarely conservative. I’ve seen it done just like how Beyonce did in Austin Powers Goldfinger. I’ve seen it in a Mohawk style but much thicker and flattened out on the top. If that’s any indication of how she’s looked, I will leave your imagination to envision her other “styles”. If she would just be CLASSY, she would be beautiful.

Second is her attitude. She walks around like she is a gift to this world with her nose stuck up in the air. Any person that gets close to her finds all of their personal information from private conversations spread all over. Where we work is almost equivalent to a high school anyway, so drama there spreads like wildfire anyway. She has no reservations about who she’ll go after… her most recent “victim” was engaged and ended up getting beat up because she doesn’t know how to keep her hands off. (NOTE: I am NOT in any way saying that the guy shouldn’t have any blame, because he should. Any guy that was previously involved and then gets involved with her at the same time, even if it’s only for one night, should have told her NO as many times as it took for her to get the hint – as hard as that may be for her. That being said, she has mastered the art of manipulation. She will go about it any way that she can to get what she wants, whether that be by playing with the guy’s emotions, flirting, or flat out stripping down in front of him. She has NO boundaries.)

Third is her standards. This one is simple. She has none. As long as it has a penis, she will pursue it.

Fourth is her hygiene. She makes sure she wears makeup and tries to make herself smell appealing. But with all of the men that she has successfully persuaded into her bedroom, I would seriously doubt her condom usage. I would seriously worry about the possibility of catching something that can’t be scrubbed off with Ajax. (NOTE: I do NOT know if she has an STD. All I’m saying is the probability is very high.)

And fifth is her mental status. This combined with the fact that she’s a multi-category slut makes an incredibly insane, disturbed slut. As the majority of this woman’s victims can attest to, when she finds someone that she wants to be involved with and manages to get them in bed, her favorite way to get him to stay with her is to fake a pregnancy… which she has done many times. From what I’ve heard, she’s even left work once for vacation being “pregnant” and came back a week or two later telling people she had flown to Hawaii and went into labor, had the baby, and then had to leave it in Hawaii. Not sure if she expected people to believe that or not, but hey, that’s a testament to her mental health.

So now to the story that prompted this blog…

A friend of mine texted me yesterday with pictures she wanted me to show someone she used to work with. She was at Kings Island and wanted to keep teasing this person about how he was stuck in the office and she was out having fun. So while I was over that way yesterday, I stopped by his desk to show him the pictures. I had been there for a few minutes and this woman walked over. I saw her when she got there but didn’t say anything and just kept talking. (I have been around this woman enough to know when she really needs something… and she didn’t need anything.) When he finally noticed she was there, she started twirling her headset cord around her finger since her hair was up and stuck her hip out. Here was the following conversation (this may not be word for word, but I’m doing my best):

Him: Yes ma’am?

Her: Oh, I didn’t really NEED anything…

Him: Ok then. (He turned back around.)

Her: Have you gotten your ice cream yet?

Him: No, I sure haven’t.

Me: He’s not going to get any ice cream… he’s trying to watch his girly figure.

Him: Oh here she goes with the jokes…

Her: You should get some ice cream.

Him: Have you gotten yours yet?

Her: Yep. But I was wondering if you would get yours and then give it to me?

Him: Yea, I’m not going to get any…

Her: Ok…

He turned back around at that point. She stood there another minute or so before she actually left.

Now is it just me, or does anyone else that’s reading this see that she was rejected? How did she miss it? Does she not know that she looked absolutely pathetic to keep trying??

This is where the home wrecker part comes in. This is the FOURTH committed man that she's gone after that I know of in the last three years or so. Heaven only knows how many more there were. (And that doesn't even come close to counting the single guys she's gone after... that I know of...)

She needs to quit worrying about where her next lay is going to come from and take care of her kids! I just hope to hell she's not taking all these different guys home while her kids are there. But seriously... this woman is almost 30 years old.... with two real kids - not the imaginary ones. Wouldn't you think it would be time to grow up and be a mother?!

#EndRant