I had to say something to Trevor last night, which afterwards, left me thinking "Did you REALLY just say that?!" But the next thought was about how every little thing has to be taught to him. As many of you know, I met Timothy and Thomas when they were 5 and 3 years old, respectively. They were old enough to where even the most basic things had already been explained. Somehow, I have still managed to come up with come off the wall things that I've had to say to all three of them. We'll start with the one from last night.
1. Don't eat that sticker!
(To the nearly year old.)
2. No one wants to see your pile of poop in the toilet!
(To Timothy.... more than once. Somehow, sometimes his poop impresses him.)
3. Why did you trap the cat inside your drawer??
(Thomas. Definitely Thomas. I looked forever for the cat until I heard meowing coming from the drawer under his old bed.)
4. It shouldn't be that hard to aim that thing!
(Timothy and Thomas... I've lost count. It's coming with Trevor too...)
5. Quit trying to play with IT while you're in the outfield!
(Timothy and Thomas. Although, Timothy did it a lot more than Thomas.)
6. You have to actually use the soap to get clean!
(Timothy and Thomas. More Thomas than Timothy. For whatever reason, he thinks standing in the shower and singing gets him clean.)
7. Your hair smells like wet dog!
(Again, both older boys. Thomas very frequently does #6, so there's an involuntary reaction to sniff his hair when he comes for hugs and kisses.)
8. Yay! There's poopoo!!
(Trevor. Lord help me. It's horrible when you get excited over baby poop.)
9. Quit letting the dog take your shoe off your foot!
(Or glove or hat or whatever else the dog can manage to take off of Thomas. Thomas picked on Rico when he was a puppy... a lot. It didn't manage how many times I'd tell him that the dog would get back at him someday. Well, it's happened. Many, many times. Rico has managed to learn how to take Thomas's shoe off of him... while Thomas is RUNNING.)
10. If you're not going to finish changing the poopy diaper, CLOSE IT BACK UP before letting go of him!
(Timothy. That poor kid has such an issue with poopy diapers.)
11. Rocks aren't food!
(Trevor. He has to taste everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Thank God he hasn't found dog poop outside yet.)
12. Ball wrinkles are the hardest thing to get poop out of!
(To Brian. If you've never had to wipe poop off of baby boy testicles, you won't understand.)
13. No, we are not sliding off into the ditch AGAIN!
(A couple of winters back, Timothy and Thomas were in the car with me going to town. There was snow and ice on the road, so I hit a turn at about 20mph. We hit a patch of ice and slid sideways off the road down into a small ditch next to a field. No one was hurt and we were able to drive down this ditch, up to a driveway, and back on the road. But for the longest time, Thomas would ask if we could do it again.)
14. He got suspended? From KINDERGARTEN?
(Thomas got suspended for a half day in kindergarten for fighting. He told us that the boy was making fun of a girl and he was standing up for her. How do you argue with that?)
15. Don't lick the bathtub!
(Trevor. The dog has managed to teach him a multitude of things including - but not limited to - eating dog food, carrying toys in his mouth while crawling, and licking the water off the edge of the bathtub.)
I'm sure there will be much, MUCH more to come as time goes on, but these have been the most memorable ones to me so far. And in a house full of males, I'm sure it'll get more and more interesting too.
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