Life Since Then, Part 3

Ok, I lied... this isn't the rest of it. I didn't quite realize how many details were involved (that I would remember) with Trevor's birth...

We called my mom and dad first. Of course she flipped out. They wanted to come right away, but I didn’t think everyone needed to be crammed in that little room, so I told them I’d let them know when I was able to get a birthing room. I don’t remember what order everyone else came in, but I made sure to get at least the majority of the family notified. When people offered to let other family members know, I decided that would be best so I could get some rest. I figured I’d have a long night ahead and needed to keep as much energy as possible, especially since already being up so early that morning. While waiting, Brian and I went over the “rules” I wanted to set for while we were in the birthing room. I had already been telling him these (mostly at random) for a few weeks prior.  Little did I know that he had put them in his phone so he wouldn’t forget J

Those rules were:
1. Only he was allowed in the room while I was pushing.
 - I believe that a baby’s birth is an extremely intimate moment and should be shared by the mother and father, without the distraction of other people (besides the hospital staff). I think that gives too much opportunity for people to argue over what everyone’s “jobs” are… who stands next to the woman being the coach, who sits on the couch, etc. Also, the more people in the room, the more things there are to potentially take the doctor’s attention away from what they’re there to do – get the baby out SAFELY. A lot of people that I know have had their mothers in the room and/or various other family members… and… to each, their own… but that’s not how I wanted things to go.

2. Only he was allowed in the room while I was being checked.
- Um… I know a bunch of people that I didn’t know were going to be in there while everything was exposed for everyone to see. BUT… I don’t know those people. The only time I have to see that doctor again is for yearly exams at which time she sees everything anyway. It’s not like I work with these people and every time they see me, they’d get a visual of my exposed vajayjay.

3. When the doctor was talking, everyone else needed to be quiet.
- If this one isn’t obvious enough… I had never birthed a baby before. And no matter how many books you read or pamphlets you look out or picture diagrams you see… it never FULLY prepares you for being in the moment. That and each birth doesn’t progress the same way. I needed to be able to hear each and every thing my doctor or nurses were telling me so I knew what was going on.

4. I didn’t want anyone called until it was confirmed that I was in active labor.
- We had already discussed this on the way to the hospital. If you haven’t, read the end of Part 2 for the reasoning.

5. IV pain meds were preferred – no epidural unless the IV meds weren’t enough and I couldn’t take it anymore.
- I know epidurals are standard now. I know they’re the best form of pain management. But… first off, I HATE needles. I passed out when I was 11 (?) in the middle of Claire’s in the Town Center mall in Charleston after getting my ears pierced. Not from pain, but from getting myself so hyped up over it that my adrenaline crashed. Nearly passed out when I got my navel pierced in my senior year of high school. Needles and I do not get along… period. And second, without mentioning names, a man that I work with lost his daughter after she gave birth to her third child due to complications from an epidural. This scared the hell out of me. I looked up the statistics on it and yes, they were very, very minimal. But it wasn’t able to be completely ruled out. As a result, an epidural was to be used as a last resort.

6. Brian and Dad needed to BEHAVE.
- Brian and my dad are entirely too similar with their sense of humor. Once they get going, they just. Don’t. Quit. And at times, it can get downright obnoxious. I had other things to focus on than getting annoyed.

7. I didn’t want anyone to try to talk me into changing my birthing plan (unless it was my doctor and in a life/death situation)
- It was MY birth plan for (likely) the ONLY baby I would ever have. I made these decisions based on various things: Brian’s input, birthing class, various other moms, etc. Granted, I know that everything could change, but I wanted to at least set parameters for how I wanted it to go. The way I saw it was if you want to try to tell me how my birth plan was incorrect or that I needed to change a million things about it, then you just needed to get pregnant and make your own birth plan.

For the record, I still don’t think any of the above was unreasonable. I cannot begin to express how incredible it was to have a husband that gave his opinion when asked for it but still allowed me to make my own decisions without any negative pressure.

Right at 8pm, we were told that a birthing room was ready… the ONLY birthing room available. (I felt sorry for the other women that didn’t have a room yet.) Before I was able to be moved, the doctor checked on my progress again. (This was pretty amusing seeing as my water hadn’t completely emptied. They made sure to stand to the side when checking me… just in case it would explode in their faces.) After getting in the birthing room, the nurse wanted to do the standard IV drip. But… I knew I wanted to walk around and I really didn’t want to bring that pole along for as long as possible, so she told me she would leave it out as long as possible but would need to be in before I got any pain meds. As soon as we got settled, Mom and Dad walked in.

To be continued....